Oh boy as I am sitting at my desk I thought of something kinda’ cool. This may sound stupid but let me see if I can explain. For many years I operated as a monster gangster and white pride guy. Well I was not brought up in that lifestyle. It was something I became, out of a need for survival in prison and on the street. But before all this garbage that I was in I did have relationships - very good ones with folks who where Muslim and Chinese and other ethnic backgrounds.
It was a Chinese family that rescued me and gave me a shot at a career and a life. For many years they stuck by me and taught me to be a better person but then I went sideways. There were two Muslim brothers who treated me as their very own brother again for many years. And even though I screwed up often I knew they cared for me. I share all this to say that for all those years that I carried out my campaign of hate and misery I lost my respect for the very people who helped me in life.
I was thinking back tonight on stories my old boss told me about how his father came here with nothing and started a life and worked hard and I thought about other people I knew who had similar stories about coming to the country with 20 dollars or less and how they built a life.
Now I, of course, respect them very much and show love. But I got to thinking how nine years ago I came to Ontario with just a shirt and pants on. Nothing else did I own in this world—not a single thing. In the first few years I worked hard to be sure I was mentally stable. During this time I was mostly supported by middle eastern and Assyrian people—ironically, the very people I hated most were saving me again.
Anyway, now after nine years, I sit and consider how I have found my place and peace in this world. I sit in a decent home. I have amazing beautiful friends. And everything I have I have worked for and has been a blessing from God. Now not only do I respect those I showed hate to, but I understand their stories much better because now I have experienced fully what they must have felt starting over in life with nothing but the stuff you have on your backside, and being without friends.
Maybe this is why they helped me because they knew the stories of their very own families. I will never forget those who took care of me when I could not take care of myself. Michael Bull Roberts will always be a friend to everybody in and from any ethnic background and you can consider me a knight who will stand in front of you to protect you from anybody who would want to take your life.
I thank the Lord from where all lessons and love comes from!
HEADING HOME (For a while!)
Really looking forward to my next mission trip to Newfoundland. My home turf.
As usual, it will be an emotional time for me. Always is when I return home. Every time I go back I face a new/old demon, but I have to do it.
Part of my trip this time will be a visit to Her Majesty’s Penitentiary where, growing up, I spent some time. I still have nightmares about that place.
When I’m back ‘ome I will be speaking at 14 outreach events. Can’t wait. I’m looking forward to spending time with my people. I know the welcome mat is always rolled out for me – gets better every time. I feel the love more and more, and you can’t beat that Newfie pride and the respect people show me for what I am trying to do.
I left a loser and a complete failure many years ago but now I return as a winner thanks to the Good Lord above!